Am I just Lucky or Have I done something just right?

I’m not an expert in the world of motherhood; in fact, I’m a first time mom and I can’t compare my daughter to others. Having said that, I am not in a position to tell you what a new mom should do when it comes to dealing with their infants. I know that every baby is unique. When somebody tells me “your baby is so quite” and usually this is followed by “you are lucky with your baby” and I don’t really know what to react. I just usually say “Thank you” with a little smile. At the same time, I don’t want to sound hypocrite to tell anybody that she is not used to crying. Literally, she is not used to crying and whining because I usually make sure that she doesn’t cry. As long as her needs are being met on time i.e. feed, nappy change etc. she is not complaining. She is sleeping well at night straight from 9:00 PM to 6:00 A.M, since she was 2 months. Am I lucky? Maybe. Or maybe I have done something just right. I don’t really know or maybe a combination of effort and a little bit of luck? But I’m quite confident it’s because more on effort.

Establishing sleeping Pattern

I started establishing her sleeping pattern when she was 5 weeks old. Technically, she is a newcomer to us couple and we would like her to adjust to our sleeping pattern not us adjusting to her sleeping pattern as much as we can. Infants don’t just do that automatically because they don’t know what is night and day. There is not much difference of day and night when she was still in my tummy. Logically I have to introduce the atmospheres at night like closing window shutters, dimming the lights in the room, no activities, no TV, no music, and only soft talks. We do the opposite during day time, open the window shutters, TV on, lively conversations and activities are as usual even if she’s napping during the day, business as usual around the house. Noisy. She got used to sleeping even if it’s noisy. I make sure she’s not napping on late afternoons. At 5 weeks , I keep her awake from 4 p.m., her last feed at 6 p.m. then a warm bath before bedroom time she sleeps at 7 wakes up around 9-10 p.m. for her feed, I feed her with dim lights to avoid her being stimulated and fully awake. She usually feeds with eyes half closed and go back to sleep right after. She will then sleep longer until 5am. Until it became a habit and her feeds are getting less and less. It became a routine for her and her system as well, she got used to it and since 3 months old, her sleeping pattern is just like ours. That means I'm no longer sleep deprived since then. teee heee! We sleep around 10pm wake up at 6am. But, she didn’t change overnight. It takes dedication to do it. It wasn’t an easy job, I should say.

Putting to Bed

Now at six months, she is sleeping on her own, with out dummy or pacifier. I didn’t introduce her to pacifier ever since. A little bit of but-tapping and lullabies would help her fall asleep. No swinging on the arms just lay her on the bed with her sleeping buddy then she will just fall asleep. In the beginning it was tough to leave her crying but then she later learned to comfort herself. But this didn’t just happen magically. Again it takes dedication and perseverance. She got certain cries that meant “just calling” or if you answer literally by carrying her and she shuts up, she is the one demanding you to come and pick me up and I would shut up. But then it has to stop otherwise she will get the idea that every time she cries, she gets carried so she will associate sleeping with carrying and swinging. Nope, I don’t want to do that. I would like her to sleep on her own on the bed. So I just leave her crying but if she really is very upset with tears, I pick her up. I guess it is really hard for a mother to watch her baby screaming to certain extent. Now, she can’t sleep on my arms or somebody else’s she needs to be laid down on her bed to go to sleep. This gives me freedom and more time to do other jobs as well.

It was really tough but I knew I had to do it from the very beginning and now is definitely a harvest of those sacrifices.

Yes she seldom cries and when she cries she really means it.

Having a baby and when you are on your own without help from family around, like in our case, it’s just the two of us; hubby and me. In times when you need some information on how to deal with baby’s issues, it is really handy to have internet access to do research on issues to focus on that needs urgent action. I found a forum where mums hang out and air out their concerns regarding parenting stuffs. When I had a hard time how to establish sleeping pattern, I had no idea what to do. Thankfully I came across this discussion which was really helpful. There I have read their concerns and solutions. Reading books and Mother and Baby magazines were really helpful. Noting that every mother and baby is unique, I start from there and figure out what works for me and baby. It is really up to you and do whatever you feel helpful to you and your baby.

I am such a newbie to this whole perspective of motherhood and I still have a long way to go. My daughter is still 6 months and so far so good. I’m loving it and cherishing every moment. Despite the fact that it’s heavily multi-tasking job I’ve ever done, I feel fulfilled as a woman.